So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am mentally ready for anal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
