Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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