I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize