I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I accidentally burped into my bong.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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