i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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