It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
