Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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