Someone shit on the floor
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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