he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
