It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
