Do you still have your period?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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