Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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