actually, I'm a sock model
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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