I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize