i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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