so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
