come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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