Screwed.edu
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
