I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
