So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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