So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
