I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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