are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize