You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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