I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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