those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize