Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
