I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize