so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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