Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
