I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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