He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I believe in your delicious
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
