Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Fuck appropriateness.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
