Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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