I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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