the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
