i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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