ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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