I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
