he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
