ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
