Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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