dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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