if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
