I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
