Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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