she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
