You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
