This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
