why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
