did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize