I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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