She announced her abortion via fbk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
