WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We need to get me chipped asap
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
