Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
