what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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