But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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