i think my tv is drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
