Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
