Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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