so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
