i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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