i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
