I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
