My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
