The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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